One of the strange things about having IBD that has been on my mind a lot lately, is that even when you are feeling well, you are always accompanied by a ghost. A ticking time-bomb in your abdomen that could go off any day without warning. A bomb that could hit you with pain, and complications that can side-line your life or put it completely on hold. Complications that can even be life-threatening.
By all estimations, this is not a friendly ghost that provides comic relief and makes for good movies. Instead it's a shadow hovering out of the corner of your eye. A faint twinge in your abdomen today. A few extra trips to the washroom or some unexpected fatigue tomorrow. A gurgle or a whisper of almost-pain. A constant, constant, constant reminder that you are not perfectly well. You're not cured. And more problems are probably coming sooner or later.
No, my time-bomb is not a friendly ghost, but it can be an invisible teacher. It is talking to me every day, whispering and sometimes yelling an all-important lesson: Life is precious. Health is precious. Time is short. Time is our most valuable possession. Make the most of it, right now, while you can. This teacher's message is sometimes a scary one. The worry that I'm wasting my time or running out of time can sometimes be frightening, but I remind myself that I don't have to live a perfect life, just a mindful one. Mindful of my blessings. Mindful of what I'm doing at any given moment. Mindful of what and who is around me. A life lived well is a life appreciated. A life not taken for granted. It means knowing what's important to you- and going for it.
This ghost is never gone it seems, even when I'm feeling great, the faint time-bomb can still be felt deep inside. Perhaps it's a good thing- so I don't forget completely about my Crohn's and I can always be reminded to live in each moment. It sure would be nice though, to have that ghost take a vacation once in a while.